(This post is not all about me, so please bear with the rambling. heh Thanks! :) )
To be fair, progress has been relatively slow. It has been consistent and work is being done, but result probably won't show for a little bit. I want to try and clear my head while exploring new avenues for creative purposes, so all I have to ask of you guys is some patience and time to get some stuff done. Although I have done close to poorly with consistency on this page and on the web in general, my only argument is that I'm human and I need to have a childhood before October, also. I need to make up for a lot of lost time, and I think it would be better to just take the easy route for the time being until it gets to an absolute importance to keep the content continuous.
Generally, I have been working to entertain an audience that I feel disconnected with at times. Not trying to be a jerk, but it's almost as if the sh*t that I've been working so hard on for years now doesn't even seem to matter at times. The work I do has come from the heart and love to do it before, but for a while you all have seen me go down a pretty slippery slope that has proved to change everything about me and my work. To those of you who have stuck around and been with me since the beginning, while managing to always find a way to never give up on me, I thank you all for every bit of it. It's those of you who do this that still keep me going at times.
Sometimes, life can be hard. It can torment us to such a level that we feel that there is no other option but to give up, and be miserable all of the time. Yet, I'm actually not at that point. I'm currently at a point where I'm looking back at everything that should knock me down, everything that should make a difference in my attitude and how I function from day to day; when I look at these things now, I'm happy and I still smile. It's because I've grown to accept these things as true, but I choose not to let them take control.
Recently, I've realized how much time has passed since I've wasted it, and I am now very aware of the cycle that I have grown to partake in. The same, boring, indifferent cycle that I had trapped myself in about a year ago is now coming to an end simply because I've become aware of it's existence. The point is, the goals and purposes we all have are far more important than the things we choose to worry ourselves about. They're more imperative than the stupid stresses that cloud our judgement constantly. For a moment, you have to look at all of the reasons why you shouldn't burden yourself. There is an extent to which you should be somewhat selfish to better life around you, even if you are selfless. You can't fill another cup with your's half empty, you know?
Make a commitment to yourself right now, for all of those reasons in which you consider important to living, that you will make every day about rebuilding yourself in a completely new way. Don't allow yourself to be miserable, and never go a day without accomplishing at least one thing that you want to get done. Even if you begin with roughly 5 min towards your passion, you may find that it will carry you on for maybe an hour or more! Construct your life off of a plan that you set for it, and follow your heart in every step of the way. This commitment will keep your personal lusts and desires in check, because if not contained, these things can control you and make your decisions for you. Fight the good fight, and never back down no matter how intimidating it may become. Use your instincts more often, and believe gut feelings if they are strong enough. Begin to stop doubting yourself in confidence, yet wither away from the attitude of arrogance. Nobody holds any status against you except a man-made one, so make a status for yourself in reality and keep it solid. The only definition of your character is the one that you show with your actions.
Furthermore, Christmas was amazing! We had a ball, and things are much more apparent to us now. We got to spend time with each other, and now our relationship with them is guaranteed to me to be strong. Although more complications have risen out of the ashes, I'm not letting go of hope. My brothers and sisters won't give up, so neither will I. My family has sacrificed for me, so I will sacrifice for them. No longer will I live my life off of fear and arrogance; now, I will make it all about something so much greater and beautiful. Nothing will kill my ideals, and nothing in the world can conquer my mind. Your greatest strength lies in the one thing that you do most, so use that strength to accomplish anything you wish to do. Life can be a journey in which we all are a part of, so why waste such a precious gift as this? Why throw everything away just because the going gets rough? From now on, your life is a battle, and you're the general... I love you all, and hopefully I can release some new stuff this month. I miss you guys. :')
